I'll Think of a Reason Later
by smc-27
Summary: Everyone who knew Lucas or Peyton had always thought it would be the two of them on that news page someday, looking in love and engaged. Peyton couldn't bring herself to feel anything but hatred for that woman, and all because she had Lucas. LP Oneshot


**A/N: **Another sleepless night, another oneshot. I swear, I am becoming nocturnal or something...But anyway, enough about that.

I heard this song for the first time in ages and it made me laugh and think that it's _perfect_ for season 5 Peyton. So of course, I wrote a story based on it.

**----**

Brooke tiptoed into the house for a reason she couldn't rationalize or explain. In her hand, she held the one thing she knew her roommate and best friend didn't need to see. There he was in black and white newsprint, a photograph taken Lord knows when, with his fiancé, announcing to their small town that he was engaged. It was news they already knew, but didn't need the printed reminder of.

And everyone who knew Lucas or Peyton had always thought that it would be the two of them on that page someday, looking in love and engaged, and not him with this relative stranger who'd blown into the town from New York and wedged herself into his life.

But he'd _invited_ her into his life after everything went so wrong between him and her best friend, and Brooke knew that, so she sat on the sofa next to her best friend and broached the subject calmly.

"Have you seen today's newspaper?" she asked timidly.

Peyton, stubborn and stoic as always, and wanting to keep her guard up even though they both knew she was dying a little bit more every time he was brought up, turned the page of her magazine and didn't meet her friend's waiting gaze.

"Yup."

It was only one syllable, but it told Brooke that Peyton was absolutely breaking, and only a best friend would pick up on that, but she heard it loud and clear.

"Oh. Where?" Brooke asked, checking the room for ripped pieces of paper, or anything that might have been broken as a byproduct of rage. She looked towards the fireplace, but it wasn't burning, and so she wondered where the paper would have gone.

"Came this morning. It's on the counter," Peyton explained. There was no discernible emotion in her tone, and that scared the hell out of Brooke, because she knew that tone well, and it meant that there was just no more emotion left to give. She was done.

Brooke got up and noticed that, indeed, the paper was sitting on the counter, open to the page with the photo of the boy she once loved, and Peyton still did, but Lindsey would marry. She took one look at the photo and let out a laugh, then noticed Peyton's eyes shift to her, and the smallest of smiles break on the blonde's face.

"Childish, don't you think?" Brooke asked between giggles as she held up the page.

"It's just one tooth!" Peyton cried, unable to hide her accomplished grin.

As soon as she'd seen the photo, she'd grabbed a pen from her drawer and well, if you asked her, she only completed the picture.

"She has horns!" Brooke shouted. Peyton only shrugged innocently, making them both laugh again.

They both knew that she was deflecting the real pain, and that Peyton didn't want to talk about it and Brooke wouldn't make her, but the brunette walked behind her best friend and wrapped her arms around her shoulders as she sat on the couch.

"It's not a very good picture anyway," Brooke said softly, knowing her friend would hear in that statement what she really wanted to say. _That should have been you_ and _He's fooling himself_ and _You're better than she'll ever be_ and _I'm here for you_.

"Good thing it's not a picture of her ass, or it wouldn't have fit on the page," Peyton muttered.

"Why would they have printed a picture of her ass?" Brooke asked with a chuckle.

"I don't know, but it felt good to say that," Peyton laughed.

"OK," Brooke said, kissing her friend's cheek before she pulled away and started dialing for takeout.

She announced that it was the perfect night for cheap pizza and expensive wine, and Peyton could only nod and smile, knowing that no matter what, she had Brooke, through it all. She felt a tear threatening to fall, but she choked back the emotion, convincing herself, at least for a moment, that a Brooke Davis trumped a Lucas Scott any day.

But it was only a moment, and then she was back to wondering why it wasn't her standing next to him in that photo.

----

The news of Nathan and Haley's marital troubles was shocking and painful for everyone involved, and Peyton worried about him because she knew how he felt. Completely in love, but being pushed away, and having to come to terms with the fact that just maybe that person didn't love you like you thought they always would.

She learned that he was staying at his brother's house - of course he was - but that meant _she _was there, and Peyton thought that that girl could take Lucas, but she sure as hell wouldn't take Nathan.

So she called him and told him she was skipping work, and he came over for some much needed one-on-one time between two old friends. They wore the same looks on their faces. Weary. Wounded. Sleepless. Absolutely and completely _heartbroken_. They each recognized it immediately, and he gave one single nod and she let one of the corners of her mouth turn upward.

They sipped water because it was too early in the day for beer, and sat on her sofa. He asked how she was and she said _fine_, and she asked how he was and he said _fine_. They each knew the other was lying, but years of friendship had made them both realize that they couldn't push it and they didn't need to talk about it because there was already the understanding of _why_ and _how_ and _who_ and neither needed any more information than that.

"You know, you could stay here," Peyton offered after a while of idle chatter. "We have the room and you wouldn't have to sleep on a couch."

"If I stay here, he'll be over all the time checking on me," he said, and they both knew it was the truth. "It's not so bad. At least..."

"What?"

"Nothing," he said, attempting to brush off his unfinished sentence. He hadn't thought before starting it, and he knew he'd regret that because she would make him finish it, but she wouldn't like what he said.

"Tell me right now," she demanded, and he knew that she wasn't messing around. That tone was one he used to hear often, way back in the day when they used to date.

"I was just going to say...I mean...the food's good," he finished softly, being sure not to use _her_ name.

"Oh, so she can _cook_, too?" Peyton scoffed, rolling her eyes.

"Sorry...I just...she's been kind of good to me, so I can't really..."

"God, next thing I know, someone will be telling me she volunteers at a shelter or nurses sick kittens back to health," she said spitefully, cutting off his attempt to explain.

He laughed, despite knowing the woman would soon become his sister-in-law, because Peyton was his friend, and he knew her better and longer and he loved her like a real sister. And maybe a little bit because a part of him had always held out a little hope that his brother and Peyton would work it out.

"She's not all that bad," he offered after his laughter subsided.

"I don't _like_ her," she insisted adamantly, looking right into those blue eyes that were somehow everything and nothing like his brother's.

"You don't have to," he said with a shrug. "But you should at least have a reason. I mean, other than just because she's with Luke."

She was silent for a moment, and took another sip of water, then she turned back to him with the slightest of smiles.

"I'll think of a reason later," she said, making him laugh again.

And he nodded his head because he understood, and there was a moment there when he wondered how different everything would be for the two of them if only Lucas and Haley had never entered the picture.

----

A few days before the event that wasn't to be spoken of, they were all gathered at Tric. All but Peyton, or so it would have been, if she hadn't already been there, then gotten summoned over by her friends. It stung just a little bit to know that she was the only one not invited. She noticed Nathan wasn't there either, and she worried, briefly, but then she saw _him_ with _her_ and then that was all she could think about.

So despite her better judgement, or maybe because of the two martinis she'd already had, she walked towards the group as they stood, chatting and joking, and suddenly everyone went quiet, and she thought she heard the tail end of the word 'wedding', but she couldn't have been sure.

She slipped into a conversation with Brooke and Haley, but after a while, the topics all blended together and they were standing in a circle, chatting about everything as a group.

It only took a couple simple words from the woman's mouth, and Peyton had to walk away, not saying anything to anyone. Brooke and Haley exchanged a look, and Lindsey tried to ignore the sudden worry on her fiancée's face, and Haley walked after the blonde who'd left so abruptly.

"Peyton!" Haley called, following her friend into her office. "You can't just do that!"

"Do what?" Peyton asked incredulously.

She loved Haley dearly, she did, but the sudden protectiveness over the woman who was so desperately laying claim to Lucas - _her_ _Lucas_, as Lindsey had cooed playfully just moments earlier - was really, really starting to piss Peyton off.

"You can't just walk off like that," Haley explained.

"She's lucky that's all I did," Peyton muttered, and Haley let her hands drop to her sides in exasperation.

"Look, I know you're having a hard time with this, but please don't take it out on everyone else. We all wanted to hang out with you tonight," Haley said, in that sing-songy tone that Peyton knew she'd have given into if the circumstances were any different.

"You didn't even invite me! And if you wanted to hang out with me, then you shouldn't have invited her," she said, putting on a sweet face that she knew would be infuriating.

"You hardly know her," Haley pointed out, and it was the truth and they both knew that, but they both also knew that it didn't really matter. "You shouldn't judge her so quickly."

"OK, I'm not sure when the Team Lindsey train rolled through town and everyone got on board, but I'm standing here, and I'm wondering where the hell my friends went. You're trying to force me into doing something I can't do!" she cried out.

"Peyton, I _am_ your friend, OK?" Haley assured her, closing the space between them so they could lower their voices. "But she's sweet and smart and she cares about us all, and she's actually pretty great. If she makes him happy, you _have_ to let it go."

"I don't want to," Peyton said. As soon as the words left her mouth, she realized that she was pouting, standing there with her arms crossed and her bottom lip sticking out just enough that Haley sent her a weak smile that only the mother of a young child could wear.

"You have to," Haley insisted. "I hate seeing you like this. And I love bad ass Peyton, but I don't want to see the claws come out every time we're all together."

Peyton had to laugh, though she wasn't really sure she wanted to.

"I'm just _so_ jealous of her, Haley," Peyton admitted, feeling the familiar lump in her throat that she was almost getting used to feeling lately. It struck her then just how sad that was; to have to live with a heartache like that.

"You've always had a little bit of a jealous bone when it came to him," Haley said calmly. Sympathetically, even.

"Yeah, well seeing her with him tends to enlarge it," she muttered, and they both laughed, then smiled, then Peyton rolled her eyes and linked her arm through her friends, put on a brave face, and walked back into the bar.

Because she had to.

She had to let it go, and seeing them together was the reality she needed to get used to.

----

When he called her from the airport, voice all sexy and talking crazy about jetting off to Vegas to get married, she wanted to shout _No!_ and _You have some nerve to call me like this_ and_ I hate you_. But she couldn't because she needed to say yes, and she loved that he called her, and they both knew by then that she'd never hate him. And though she wished he'd figured it out earlier, he'd realized that they were meant to be, and he wanted to start his life with her _right now_, and she just couldn't say no.

But she did wait a few seconds to respond, because he deserved that wrenching in his heart as he waited for her answer, and they both knew that.

Then they were laying in that hotel bed, the one in L.A. that had one really bad memory, and now one really good one, and they were talking about everything because they needed to.

"You really did hate her, didn't you?" he asked with a smile, because what man doesn't want to hear that her love for him created a hatred for any other woman who looked his way?

"Let's just say I didn't particularly care for her," she explained delicately.

He kissed her again, for what may have been the hundredth time that morning, and she knew that none of it mattered. Hate and heartache and years apart and an accidental proposal to a woman who wasn't her. It should have mattered, but it didn't.

Because she had him, and he'd chosen her, and when he told her that it was always her, she believed him, not just because she wanted to, but because it was the truth and she could tell by the emotion in his voice that he meant it.

And so when he told her that he kind of loved that she got all jealous and feisty over him, she promised that she'd always hate every woman who came around him, and he laughed because _that_ was the truth, too.

**-Fin-**


End file.
